Blue Siku Porsche

In the late 1970's, my dad took a second job working at JFK airport. He washed pots and pans in the food service department for Lufthansa.

As a little girl, no more than 4 years old, I recall going to visit my dad to take him lunch or pick him up from work. He always brought me around to his co workers in the other departments to show me off.

One department that always fascinated me was what I called the goodies section. This was the department where they kept the cases of little bags of peanuts, sodas, mini liquor bottles, wing pins and anything else they would stock on the airplane for passengers. This was a giant cage full of colorful boxes, which we could not enter. Instead, we would walk to a little window and speak to a little man on the other side. This man was Edwin, and he was my dad's best friend.

 If a case came damaged, they had to discard it completely, so Edwin would tell my dad to stop by with me if they had any opened cases. He always had goodies waiting for me when we'd arrive. Sometimes it was little bags of peanuts. Other times it was little bags of Haribo Gold gummy bears. I loved those best.

On one such visit I was greeted with a major surprise. Seems like Lufthansa had some kind of promotion with a toy company in Germany called Siku. Siku produced a bunch of diecast cars and little planes to give to children traveling on their planes, much like the pilot wing pins usually seen. So that night, I came home with an armful of little blue Porsche cars.

The cars were wider than your typical Matchbox or Hotwheels car, but they were relatively the same length.  An added feature: the doors opened. 

Like many children of the 70's, I had a vast collection of cheap giant plastic trucks and cars, but these little blue cars were small, heavy and rolled like a dream. I spent many an afternoon racing those little blue cars on kitchen linoleum, living room plush carpeting, and freshly laid sidewalk cement by myself. They were the first metal toy cars I ever owned, and I loved them.

As I got older and started playing with other children close to my age, I would bring them out. No one ever seemed impressed by them. In the sea of brightly colored Hotwheels and stylish Matchbox cars, a fleet of light blue wide porches that were an off-brand (by American childhood standards) was something to be ridiculed for.

After a while I stopped bringing them out to play. They languished under my bed like exiles, only to see the light of day when I was forced to clean my room.

One solitary car survived the many purges of childhood... with rust stains, paint chipped, wobbly wheels, and cracked windshield. Much like a real neglected car from the 70's. 

Match Box Dolls

I've mentioned in passing how as a child, my parents and I would routinely visit our extended family in South America. It seemed to me that we would visit every two years or so, during the holidays. It made some sense, as my mother's birthday was in late December, my birthday was in the first week of January, and in between we had Christmas and New Year's. It also helped that it was summer in Montevideo, Uruguay at that time of the year, and it allowed us a reprieve from New York winter.

Every time we would go, most of the space our suitcases was taken up with various gifts and goodies for our family. My mother used the excuse of Christmas, but in reality it was a way of sharing our good fortune with family and friends in South America that had much less. Clothing for the women, electronics for the men (which always necessitated a trip to Manhattan to my father's chagrin, to find the proper voltage) and for the children, toys.

What there wasn't room for in our baggage, was for my toys. My mom would say I shouldn't bring my toys since it may be viewed as showing off to my cousins. I didn't want my cousins to feel bad, so I usually agreed. I mean, I had Christmas and my birthday to look forward to.

Christmas in Montevideo was slow torture for a child accustomed to Americanized holiday customs. Christmas, in my Wishy-washy Catholic extended family was neither super religious or highly secular, but certain customs were adhered to. Christmas Eve was the big family dinner followed by watching the telecast of the Pope's midnight Christmas mass and card playing. Christmas Day was a big family lunch/dinner get together. 

No gifts were exchanged on either day.

It was explained to me in the simplest terms possible: Jesus didn't get his gifts on Christmas. He had to wait for the Three Kings to show up. So YOU have to wait until Three Kings Day. 

Three Kings Day is January 6. That's TWO whole weeks after Christmas. It was a good thing that my birthday was a little before that, otherwise I believe I would have exploded every visit.

It was 1982 when I first became aware of the grueling passage of time that occurred during those two never ending weeks. Since I had not brought any toys with me, I had to make do with whatever was available to me. I learned to make great mudpies, bounce a soccer ball on my knees, and how to play marbles. It didn't help that I had only one cousin my age, and he had his own friends. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast with him, but he wasn't always available to keep me entertained. 

My birthday brought with it many pieces of clothing and other nice things, that didn't lend themselves to solo play. My parents assured me I had other presents waiting for me back home, awaiting me in NY. That didn't necessarily endear me to our visit.

Three Kings Day finally came, and I received the same thing from every family member as did every other girl in my family it seemed. I received little match boxes.

Now, I don't mean the little cars, I mean cardboard little boxes that usually house matches you use to light the BBQ or birthday candle. I stood there confused staring at this mountain of boxes as the rest of the girls let out excited squeals.

I didn't get it.

And then the heavens parted.

One of my older cousins took one of my boxes and slid it open. Inside was a tiny doll. The body was cloth filled with beans or sand, the head was plastic, and it had colored stones for eyes. I opened the rest of them, and each was different.

I was told they were Fofoletes from Brazil.

They were a craze and impossible to find during that holiday season, so one of my uncles who ran the neighborhood boliche (small grocery store) with my grandmother had a contact in Brazil who was able to secure a case. Instead of placing them for sale to the public, my uncles and my dad went in on it together and divided them up equally for all the girls in the family. 

Every dad and uncle was a hero that year.

I wasn't aware of the work that went into it at the time. I wasn't even aware how popular the dolls were. I was just happy to have small little dolls that could fit in my pocket so I could play with them. Like  a sip of water to a thirsty man in a desert, I was elated. 

The rest of my time in Montevideo went by quickly. I played with my army of match box dolls, and even traded some with the neighborhood kids that would visit my grandmother's boliche.

I had a handful of little dolls and I was happy. I didn't even remember the gifts awaiting me back home. I didn't need them.

I still have one of my childhood Fofoletes. A red and black one, with blue eyes. She's survived childhood, transcontinental travels, moves, college, marriage and she sits on my entertainment system. And to this day, she still makes me happy.

Superman jiggler

I was a bicentennial baby, so it can be said I was patriotic from birth. Born in 1976 in the city that never sleeps, with formative years at the tail end of the disco era and onslaught of the Reagan decade, I am a sum of those parts.

I am also a child of immigrants who to this day remind me of the hardships they experienced in order to provide for me this birthright. I am forever grateful.

As is my father, who will openly cry when the American National Anthem is played right before a Yankees game.

It is no surprise, that when it came to toys, if it was patriotic in anyway, my dad bought it for me. I even had an ABA basketball, and my dad had no clue what basketball was. He just liked the red, white and blue ball. 

It did surprise me though, when my dad brought home a Ben Cooper Superman jiggler toy for me. It wasn't sports related in any way, nor was it a glaringly obvious red, white, and blue item. He told me he was at the hardware store and they had them on the counter with a picture of Superman standing in front of the city and one with Superman holding the flag from the movie. Then it clicked for me, Superman to my dad was the ultimate patriot. He was an immigrant who did everything he could to defend his chosen country. My dad found the perfect patriotic toy.

This Superman jiggler became a mainstay for me for many years, even though all I knew of Superman at that time was what the Superfriends showed me on Saturday mornings. Sure, the string broke, and the color faded or peeled, and sometimes I would misplace him for long periods of time, but every time I found him, he was elevated to number 1 toy in my room, and my dad was my hero for giving him to me.

In 1982 when Superman the Movie was to be broadcast on ABC, I went through my room in a frenzy. I needed to find Superman so I could watch the movie while playing with him. It was necessary. All day long leading to broadcast time was spent in such a pursuit, I had enlisted my mom to help search the basement in final desperation. My father was handling dinner, and he, the man who falls asleep during any and every movie ever made, who's attention to the TV is only reserved for sports, *he* was excited to see Superman.

During one of my passes through the kitchen, the phone rang and my dad told me to answer it since his hands were full. It was long distance, I could tell due to the crackle on the line. My aunt's voice carried through, and I remember getting an uneasy feeling when she asked to talk to my father. I handed the phone to him and watched.

I remember him looking down and giving short answers. He thanked his sister and told me to get my mom since the movie had started. I didn't even notice. 

When my mom came upstairs I remember her asking who was on the phone. He looked at her and just said, "My father died." Then he looked at me and gave me a sad smile as he sat in his chair. The smile turned into laughter, which confused my mother, until she saw him pull his hand from underneath him holding my Superman jiggler. 

I don't have any memories of my paternal grandfather, but I know he wasn't overly pleased with my father's decision to follow my mother to America. And yet every time I see a Superman jiggler, I remember that day. I don't remember it as the day I lost a grandparent I barely knew though, I remember it as the day my dad sat on Superman and watched a movie with me without falling asleep.

Dime Robots

Pictures from CollectionDX...check them out!

I must have been between the ages of 8 and 9 when my mother decided it was okay for me to walk to school without her. (This seemed to coincide with the end of my weekly Thursday Smurf.)

 My school, lovely old P.S.64 in Queens, was roughly 4 city blocks away in a serpentine route, so there were a few corners to turn at, and quite a few streets to cross for a child. My mother would watch until I reached the corner of our block and joined a small group of children. We'd then disappear around the corner, and would continue on our way under the watchful eye of one of the other kids' mom.

Oddly enough, once we reached the incredibly busy thoroughfare that was 101st ave, and turned that particular corner, we were completely on our own. I'm sure our folks felt that since we were about a block away from the school and the only street to cross would be covered by the crossing guard at the school, that we'd be safe.

Now, walking home was a different matter altogether. We had no supervision. We usually stuck together once we met up after the bell and would begin in mass, to migrate to out homes. It was during one of the migrations that one child mentioned going to the candy store down the block before heading home. Since we all stuck together, and no one wanted to explain why this one particular child was missing from our group, we all went to the candy store with him. The candy store was only half a block in the opposite direction of our way home, but to me it might as well have been in another city. We were off track, doing something we never asked permission to do. I was scared, but everyone else seemed at ease with it, so I just kept my mouth shut and went along.

When I first set foot in that candy store, I was blown away! So many different kinds of candy, and trading cards. I had never seen some of this stuff before, and I was blown away. Having no money, I could not partake, but I watched as the other children with spending money bought this and that.

The next day in class, a couple of the boys from our group showed me these tiny colorful robots. They were small enough to hide and play with on your desk, but in colors that could pass as an eraser in case the teacher caught you. You had to put them together. They had tiny weapons and their arms moved. In that moment I knew, I just *knew* I needed some. Not one, mind you, I needed some. I needed a few to stage battles in my desk.

The next morning, I asked my mom for some money, and I said it was to buy candy on the way home. My mom assumed I meant I would stop at the little grocer store closest to our house which was on the way home. I didn't correct her. I knew I shouldn't be going the other way after school, but I couldn't help the thrill I got.

The robots were only a dime. The person who ran the candy store obviously never charged tax on children paying in coins, because walking in with fifty cents allowed me to walk out with 5 robots.

They were called Puzzle Space Fighters. They were obviously bootleg toys. They came in a baggy with candy. And they were the best ill gotten toys I ever had. Ten cents brought me so much happy and so much fun and I got away with it. I felt invincible. I felt free. I felt grown up.

After that, I became less scared, and more adventuresome as a child. I stopped sticking to predetermined routes when running errands for my mom, and started to explore my neighborhood a little more. But *that's* a story for another day.

Sport & Shave Ken

(Or how a Ken doll became a bicycle for my sister)

Although it seemed my parents had a Catholic priest waiting in the delivery room to christen me the moment I first drew breath on this Earth, they failed to sign me up for catechism classes at the same time as my peers. Being that we live in a predominantly Roman Catholic neighborhood of Ozone Park, that was a faux pas that was not easily forgiven. As such I was enrolled as quickly as possible in the first available course at the local Catholic school. I was still a year behind and would not have my first communion until the 3rd grade.

It is important to note that while my parents were rather lax on the whole "going to church thing," they placed a great deal of importance on the rites of catholic passage. Actually, my father really did not care one way or another. He found going to church a rather trying thing, and avoided it when possible. It was probably left over bad blood from his years of being "disciplined" by nuns in school. My mom I believe just wanted me to go through the motions, as that what was expected in our family and society.

I personally did not really care about the religiosity, and cared more about feeling left out. Everyone I knew was going to these special classes and being the odd one out was never fun. Add to that the fact that I knew from the other kids in my class that having your communion meant having a big party and everyone giving you presents. That sounded pretty good to me, and I wanted it.

There were days during my catechism classes where I just didn't feel it. I understood the concepts, I memorized the prayers, I studied the stories... But I asked too many questions. The nun teaching the class always answered with a "it's God's way." I just wanted to understand "God's way" not just take it on faith. That did not gain me any favors with the nun, or the younger kids in my class... Who all knew each other from public school and had already decided to shun the interloper I was.

Every time things got rough, I would think of the party and presents and I'd make it through one more class. That worked for the first year. (Catechism classes were one hour, every Wednesday afternoon, during the normal school year, for 2 years to reach communion. More if going towards confirmation.)

The actual year that my communion would be done, I was begging to quit. I hated feeling like an outsider. I hated being treated like a trouble-maker by the nuns for questioning things. I was inherently shy, and therefore rather soft spoken and polite when asking any questions. I didn't pester. I was well behaved, did my homework, and aced tests. But I could not wrap my head around the concept that asking questions in public school was accepted and expected, but in Catholic school it was seen as questioning authority.

My dad told my mom to let me quit if I wanted to. My mom took a different route. She reminded me that I'd already suffered one year, why not two and finish it so we could have the party. We compromised. One more year and my communion, but that was all.

I still wasn't particularly happy.

And then around Christmas time I saw a Sport n Shave Ken at discount store we were shopping in. I fell in love. He had real hair, and a tennis racket... and I wanted him. My parents had already purchased my Christmas presents, and my birthday present, for the year, so I knew I had zero chance when I asked. Instead of being told "No," my mom, the shrewd parenting machine that she was simply said, "You can buy it with your communion money."

My WHAT?! I get money?!

I was then told that since most of my family was in South America and could not make the journey, they'd been sending cards with money for my communion... But she couldn't give it to me until my communion because it was a surprise. 

I won't lie. That particular bit of knowledge sustained me.

 It kept me strong when we'd journey into the big, dark scary cathedral style church (which in my memory is lit only with candles, which created the affect of moving shadows in front of the many statues of Saints littered all over the place, tuck in little alcoves.)

It kept my mouth shut when questions arose in my head.

It kept my brain calculating how many sins I could tell the priest in my first confession and still get away with the minimum of Hail Marys. (Some kids got stuck with doing full rosaries.)

And so when the day came, I was the model little catholic girl, in my white dress my Godfather purchased, reading from the bible during the ceremony. The only thing wrong was I had the flu, but my dad came prepared with a pocket full of tissues for me. Nothing was going to stop me from getting that Ken doll!

When they called all the kids up to receive communion, I got in line, bowed my head, and opened my mouth. As soon as I took the wafer in my mouth, I just about gagged. By the literal grace of God, I made it back to the pew where my father was waiting, without throwing up. As I sat down, I still had the wafer in my mouth. I couldn't swallow it. My throat was sore, my nose was runny, and I felt sick to my stomach. My dad noticed my pallor and asked if I was okay.

I shook my head no. I couldn't open my mouth, I was sure I'd throw up. Somehow my dad knew. He looked at me with a kind smile. He told my mom to go ahead if she wanted to receive communion, and that he'd stay with me. 

After she left, he looked around and saw that the coast was clear. He pulled out his pocket hanky from his jacket, opened it up and told me to spit "it" out. Then he added the magic words,"quick before your mom comes back!"

I did. 

We left the church that day with everyone congratulating me, taking pictures, and singing my praises... And I spit out the wafer into my dad's hanky. 

Later on that day, I received presents, ate cake and ice cream, and celebrated my communion, not with the Catholic Church, but my communion with my dad. He was always bigger than life to me, and on that day he became the biggest hero I'd ever have.

I still felt bad about spitting the wafer out, since it represents the body of Christ... and I didn't keep up my end of the bargain with my mom. I didn't actually have my first communion.

The day we went to the store so I could buy my Ken doll, I felt the guilt eating me alive. I hadn't told my mom what really happened in the pew that day, and I felt I had cheated her. So there in the store with enough money to buy the Ken doll, several times over, I looked at my mom and said, "I want to buy my sister a real bike for her birthday next month, with this money."

She smiled at me, and said if that was what I wanted, it was my money. So I picked out a 2 wheeler bike with a pink basket and paid the man.

I left that store without my Ken doll.

But my sister loved her new bike. 

I guess I did learn something from my catechism classes after all.

Looney Tunes Dominoes

Being the only child at family get togethers was a double edge sword. Sure, I received all the attention to begin the day, but that also meant that when the attention shifted elsewhere, I was left to play alone. Most times, I just sat quietly and watched.

As far as I can remember, my parents always had sets of Spanish playing cards, and dominoes around the house. During these family parties, I would watch as the adults would gather around the table after dinner and dessert had been served and observe as they drank, laughed and loudly played their games. They always looked like they had so much fun.

My favorite was the dominoes. Watching the adults play dominoes completely mesmerized me. The game fascinated me. The little tiles looked like bricks with dots, and they could stand on their own, but 3 year old me couldn't quite grasp the rules.

My dad seeing my interest offered to teach me the rules. It seemed simple enough, but watching the adults play so fast, while loudly telling jokes that went over my head, something was lost in the translation.

During one of our regular trips to the Aqueduct Race Track Flea market, my dad discovered the solution:  Looney Tunes Dominoes. This was a set of red plastic dominoes, which substituted pictures of my favorite WB characters in place of the dots.

We got home and immediately opened the box to play a game. Suddenly it all made sense to me. Match the faces, and be first to finish my tiles. I was really good at that. Too good it seemed, as I began to beat my dad continuously. My father's response? Cheat. He insisted that Porky Pig and Elmer Fudd was the same character when it was his turn, but two different characters when it was my turn.

Trying to argue with his regarding his logic led to his declaring he no longer had time to play dominoes with me. I asked my mom to play, but she was legitimately busy, with taking care of the house and making dinner while my dad on the other hand was watching a Yankees game on TV.

This taught me three things:

1.) Never argue with my dad especially when he's wrong.
2.) Always let my dad win no matter what.
3.) You can build things with dominoes when no one will play with you, and that's much more fun anyway.

Interlude: Toy Stores

I was 14 years old before I ever set foot into a Toys R Us. Before then, the closest I ever came was passing the multi-colored sign on the expressway on the way to Kennedy Airport.

Now, that's not to say I was never taken to a toy store. There were a few mom and pop independent toy stores in Queens back in the 1980's that I distinctly remember going to during the holiday season, or during the summer for bicycle purposes. But nothing in the scale of a Toys R Us.

Geoffrey used to lure me with his siren song on Saturday mornings, with the promise of staying young forever if only I would be a Toys R Us kid. I so wanted to be one.

The other children on my block would tell the fantastical tales of venturing into the den of all that was holy to a child. Toys stacked from floor to ceiling! Every toy imaginable was there, even stuff that was never advertised on TV. This sort of place could not really exist, could it? 

But it had to. I had first hand eye witness accounts. I myself had seen the very building that housed this wonderful place from the dirty backseat window of my dad's Ford Maverick. 

At times, I would ask to go there, just to see it with my own eyes, however the answer was always no. There was no reason to go there according to my parents. 

Alexander's had a small toy section, and we could go *there* if I wanted, since that would allow my mom to buy my dad some pants. Or I could go with my dad to Tru Value and look at their toys while he bought a hammer or something. Maybe if I was lucky, we could go to Odd Lots, home of the Isle of Misfit toys, where not only I could look,  I might be able to go home with something... if there was money left over after my mom bought me my school supplies.

There was never a reason to go to Toys R Us.

I still never grew up, despite I never being a Toys R Us Kid. 

Cabbage Patch fear

Like every child in 1980's, I had a Cabbage Patch Kid, courtesy of my Uncle Joe.

The interesting thing about this fact is, I never really wanted one. Sure, it seemed like every girl in America wanted, needed, and had one or two... But I never really cared much for them. 

I didn't like playing house. I never enjoyed playing "mommy & baby." I preferred action figures, or even dolls that you could project unto, like Barbie or Strawberry Shortcake. Baby dolls did nothing for me.

However, I did enjoy having Cabbage Patch Kid as a playground status symbol. Owning one made you fit in, and I wanted to fit in with the girls in my class so desperately. So I played with it in public. At home, it just sat on my vanity and stared at me.

It was a little disconcerting, to say the least. However, it went from weird to downright horrifying not soon after.

Now, something you must know about my mother, she loved reading trashy tabloids. The weirder the headline, the better. So it was not unusual to find the latest copy of the National Enquirer or Weekly World News in our shopping cart at the local Key Food. 

On one such trip, I found myself at the checkout with my mother as she glanced over the latest "Newspapers." A blurb on the cover of the National Enquirer mentioned a Cabbage Patch Kids collector. I found that interesting and picked it up to check out the article while we waited.

I wish I hadn't.

The article went on to describe an obviously looney woman who could not have kids of her own, who had taken to "adopting" a slew of Cabbage Patch Kids and turning a room in her house into a nursery for them. She went so far as to purchase a baby monitor and schedule "feedings." She insisted they weren't really dolls, but real children that pretended to be dolls when people were in the room, but she could hear them laugh and play through the baby monitor.

That's about as far as I got before we had to leave, so I put the rag back on the shelf, but my 8 year old brain kept churning that information. When you don't watch them they come to life!

Later that day I sat in my room watching my little 13" black and white TV, avoiding eye contact with the doll. It seemed like every time I'd turn my head, I would swear the thing moved. Any tiny noise was blamed on THAT doll, as I began to call it in my head. I would lower the volume on my TV and strain my ears and swear I could hear it breathe!

That night as I lay in my bed, I was overcome. I couldn't sleep. If I slept THAT doll would come to life and kill me. I was certain.

So I got up and did the only thing I could thing of to do. I grabbed the doll and snuck into my parent's bedroom and stuck the doll in my baby sister's crib.

My rationale? If it wanted to taste blood, it could start with my sister. That would give me a head-start.

I never told my parents that, though.

In the morning when they found the coveted Cabbage Patch Kid in my sister's drooling mitts, I said I was giving it to her as a gift. My parents thought I was being a generous and loving big sister. I smiled and accepted the praise when in reality, I was nothing more than a coward, afraid of a doll, willing to sacrifice my sister to save my own hide. 

And the funny thing is, I'm still creeped out by Cabbage Patch Kids, to this very day.

Michael Jackson dreams

The year was 1984, and I was an 8 year old caught up in the Michael Jackson craze.

There was no escaping the mania. Thriller was *the* album. Kids of all ages were either wearing or begging for red leather jackets covered in zippers. Knowing how to execute the perfect moonwalk on the playground won you more accolades than owning the latest, greatest toy. My elementary school even piped in Weird Al's "Beat it" parody, the aptly titled "Eat it" in the cafeteria during lunch.

My mom even fell victim to the craze and I found myself wearing a red leather "Beat it" jacket that winter. I wore that jacket with pride, over my Michael Jackson Thriller cover iron-on T-shirt, my vending machine Michael Jackson pendant, while carrying my Michael Jackson loose leaf binder to school.

I thought I had it made, until I saw the commercial on TV for the LJN Michael Jackson 12 inch fashion dolls. Forget Ken. Barbie needed Michael Jackson!

I told my mom.

This wasn't something I wanted. This was something I needed! I needed this doll. Every kid I knew needed this doll.

My mom understood.

Christmas was coming up and she said I'd done extra well in school and that I earned the doll. I just had to choose which Michael I wanted.

He came in three styles if I remember correctly: Thriller, Grammy Awards, and Beat it.

I choose Beat it. I liked that particular jacket best, and I did already have a child sized one I wore every time the temperature dropped below 70.

I remember going to several stores with my mother looking for it. Seems I had been correct: everyone needed this doll. They were no where to be found. If you got lucky and found one, it was Michael wearing the sparkly military jacket he wore to the Grammys. No one wanted frilly Grammy Michael. You wanted cool Zombie Thriller Michael, or young street tough gang banger Beat it Michael.

I'm not quite sure how, but my mom managed to find a Beat it Michael with the help of her brother, my uncle Joe. Of course, I was unaware at the time. All I was told was that Santa brought me *a* Michael, but not which one.

To make thing worse, Santa dropped off the present in early December, where it sat under the Christmas tree... Taunting me nonstop for weeks on end. I do believe that was the longest wait of my young life. Every day I woke up I would go to the tree, pick up the wrapped box and look at the label with my name on it. Every day I had to force myself to put it back before my mom caught me.

Those endless days were absolutely nothing compared to Christmas Eve though. That was the epitome of a slow torture: 24 hours that would never end, that dragged on and on, no distractions since it was too cold to play outside, nothing on TV, and that brightly wrapped box with my name on it.

The night before, I had the most vivid dream. I dreamt I opened the box and played with my new Michael Jackson doll.
Michael went camping in Barbie's camper and hung out with John Travolta. We ate lunch together. We built a snow fort outside in our matching red zippered jackets. It was magnificent.

Then I woke up and I realized I had been dreaming. The sense of loss I felt was overwhelming. I had to go out and look at the box to remind myself that, yes it was a dream but that I still had a chance to live it.

When the time came to open presents, I grabbed the Michael box and set it aside. I was going to savor the moment. I was going to open all my other presents first to get the crud out of the way so that nothing would taint my Michael moment.

I remember getting a plush Gizmo from Gremlins that year, which I was pleasantly surprised by. I loved Gizmo. I also received a Cabbage Patch doll. Cabbage Patch dolls were the hot ticket item that year, and I fear what my uncle must have had to do to get me one... only to have me set it aside, unimpressed. Xavier Roberts' golden goose was nothing compared to the power of "The Thriller," as Vincent Price was fond of telling me.

Finally I ripped open Michael. He had the Beat it outfit on. I was overjoyed.

I don't think I came out of my room for the rest if Christmas break, as Michael and I were busy. Michael enjoyed wearing Ken's fashions and traveling by Barbie camper. Sometimes Barbie wore his jacket.

That was an awesome Christmas vacation.

Skipper

I received my very first official Barbie doll on my 6th birthday.

It just wasn't Barbie. It was Skipper, her little sister, but I didn't know any better. Sure she seemed kind of short compared to the Barbie knock-offs I was used to, but perhaps it was because this was the real thing. It made sense.

We celebrated my 6th birthday in Miami during a visit to my grandparents and my mother's brother's family... (and to go to Disney World, my father's favorite place to go). It was that uncle, my uncle Joe, that got me the Skipper.

My uncle Joe always got me the best toys on Christmas and my birthday. He was the hero that showed up one Christmas eve with a Cabbage Patch Kid when parents everywhere were out for blood. He got me the Beat It Michael Jackson doll when all stores only had the crappy Grammys outfit one.

I would not expect less from him. Of course HE got me a REAL Barbie!

To say I was pleased to have a Barbie would be like saying a fat kid is simply "pleased" to be offer a second piece of cake. I was ecstatic.

I don't remember anything about that birthday or what else I got. From old photos I see I cleaned up in the presents department, and that my cake had most awesome Disney characters one could use as toys... but none of that sticks in my memory. But I do recall ripping the paper containing my Barbie. I remember seeing the yellow box with the distinctive Barbie-esc script. (I couldn't read yet, but I recognized the logos and artwork from TV commercials.) I remember yanking her out of the packaging and discovering she came with a giant yellow skateboard. That was it... I spent the rest of the trip playing with Barbie.

She slept with me. She went to the pool and in the bathtub with me. She went to Disney World with me. Barbie was my pal.

When we got back home, this new found kinship with this plastic bombshell continued. By now though, her cute purple outfit (A pink bathing suit, with purple shorts, and a purple skirt) were getting a bit boring. I was able to convince my mom she needed a few new outfits, so off to OddLots we went.

That was when I got my first clue all that was not well in Barbieland.

The clothing we picked up were knock off fashion doll clothes that were meant to be used with Barbie. The problem was... they didn't fit. The dresses were too big. Now, being knock offs, my rationalisation skills kicked in BIG TIME. Of course they didn't fit. They didn't even come with shoes! They were not official Barbie clothes. Duh.

That excuse was blown out of the water when the very next week my mom was kind enough to buy me a REAL Barbie outfit at Woolsworth, after I explained that Barbie needed new shoes and the other outfits didn't come with any. And wouldn't you know it... the dress was too big as well. If that wasn't enough, the shoes not only did not fit... they were the wrong shape! See, my Barbie had flat feet, unlike my cheap fashion dolls that stood on their tippy toes. I figured it was BECAUSE she was real. Something was wrong.

I continued to stew about this until spring, for that was when all the kids in the neighborhood took to playing outside. That's when the bottom fell out.

I brought my Barbie out to play with the older girls down the block who had pretty much every Barbie thing you could think of. They had the Dream house, the camper, the horse, the Corvette, and of course Ken. When playing with them I was always relegated to being the next door neighbor, since I didn't have a real Barbie and only real Barbies could live in the Dream house. I figured this was it! I was in the house when I showed up with my Barbie.

Then I was told that my doll was not Barbie. It was Skipper, Barbie's little sister.

I could live in the Dream house, but no driving the Vette or camper. I couldn't ride the horse because I was too young. I couldn't go to the ball, because it was past my bedtime. It was worse than being the neighbor! At least the neighbor was allowed to borrow their clothes.

When I got home I took a good hard look at "Skipper."

She was still the doll that hung out with me during my 6th birthday when I had no children my age to play with. She was still my friend. Who cares if her REAL name was Skipper. In my bedroom, she was still "Barbie" to Mego Spider-man who kept asking out for dates even though she was taller than him, and she was still "Barbie" to John Travolta who didn't care how short she was, because he was into short chicks.

And she was still "Barbie" to me.

She'll always be Barbie to me.

Gonga

The 1980's was a great time to be a little girl. The selection of girl toys with cartoon tie ins seem to be never ending. You had Strawberry Shortcake, She-Ra, Cabbage Patch Kids, Popples, Dolly Pops, Glamour Girls and Monchichis. The quantity and quality was reaching boy toy levels.

The 1980's was not, however a great time to be a little girl whose parents only seemed to shop at outlets and clearance sales. It also did not help that most toys aimed towards girls seemed to come with a premium price tag. Nor was it advantageous to be the lone girl in class without the must have toy required to fit in the ever changing and ever judgmental girl society of the grade school playground.

Perhaps that is why I readily found kinship amongst the boys. As long as you had a few Hotwheels, a bike, a baseball mitt, and some cheap M.U.S.C.L.E guys, you were accepted without question.

This did not deter me from wanting to fit in with those of my gender, and come Christmas or my birthday I would make sure to include at least one of the must have girl status symbols on my list.

One particular year I was crazy over Monchichis. The commercials had me salivating. What a perfect toy for the Return of the Jedi crowd. A furry little friend you could dress up that was cute, had a tail and could suck his thumb.

Every time I saw the commercial, I'd point it out to my mom. If we were in a store that had them on display, I'd wax poetic about them. On Saturday mornings I'd pester my mom to watch the cartoon with me. I was in full blown parental brainwashing mode. I was going to insure that come January, after winter break, I would join the elite girls of my class and be accepted once I had my Monchhichi

Come Christmas, I was beyond ready for my little Japanese monkey doll. I remember ripping into my presents hoping each one would bring me closer. Of course, it would have to be the last gift I'd open, right?

Upon tearing into the wrapping paper like a child possessed, I gazed upon my prize: my brand new thumb sucking monkey... Gonga.

It wasn't a Monchhichi. It wasn't anything that even closely resembled a Monchhichi. It was a little gorilla who's only kinship to the Monchhichi was that he too could suck his thumb. The tag on his butt said his name was "Gonga". I called him "Disappointment." Gonga couldn't even wear clothes. Nothing would fit him, not even Teddy bear sweaters.

I never let on to my parents, though. I thanked them and told them I loved him.

When Christmas vacation was over, and we returned to school, all the girls in class gathered around to show off their new Monchhichis and accessories. I stood with the boys making fun of them, trading baseball cards, and racing the Hotwheels we'd all snuck into class in our pockets.

Intermission...

Lost Sgt. Slaughter

1986 was a great year to be a New Yorker. The Statue of Liberty was turning 100 years old and that Fourth of July was set to be the best ever! The Mets were in the middle of a fantastic pennant race which would end in a World Series championship (not that I cared, being a Yankees fan.) But the most important thing to happen in my young life in 1986 was me turning 10 years old.

Turning 10 meant a whole new slew of responsibilities and a bunch of hard fought freedoms. Those freedoms included being allowed to ride my bike to the video store to rent movies BY MYSELF! The flip side was I could be asked to bike to the grocery store by myself too, if we ran out of something midweek.

Turning 10 also meant a substantial bump on the allowance front... $5.00 a week!

Instead of blowing through my allowance I decided to save up. I really had nothing in mind to purchase, but I knew it would not be a clearanced toy, or a knock off or anything else along those lines. I made up my mind that for once in my life I was going to walk into a toy store and buy that latest, greatest thing I could. It was my mission.

As the months past, I still could not figure out what to get, until I was watching TV one afternoon and a GI Joe commercial came on. I knew then I would go blow through my savings on GI Joes!

I started slowly, buying a couple of figures at a time at the Woolsworth in Cityline. There wasn't anything very exciting about these purchases, other than I learned about sales tax and how much I disliked having to pay more than the posted price when I went up to the checkout.

One weekend I remember getting a flyer in the junk mail from a local toystore. (I loved going through toy flyers as a kid playing the old game "If I X amount of money what would I get?") And there in the flyer I saw pictured the great Serpentor in his Air Chariot AND Sgt Slaughter in his Triple T Tank... ON SALE!  After some begging and pleading, my parents agreed to drive me to that toy store, which was rather far. (Anything NOT within walking distance, or out of the Ozone Park area was considered "far".)

I remember that the boxed Joe vehicles were behind the counter, and being a rather shy kid it took forever to muster up the courage to ask the shopkeep for help. Actually, I mustered up the courage to ask my mom to ask the shopkeep for help. Before long we were on the way home, with my 2 vehicles!

Boy, did I have fun playing with Sgt. Slaughter! I was a big wrestling fan as well as a GI Joe fan, so sometimes the Sarge would wrestle Cobra guys. Most times, the Sarge would go on solo missions, since seriously, would Sgt Slaughter NEED any backup? Most of my other Joes were usually captured and the Sarge would of course, be the lone man to break into Cobra headquarters and single handedly save each and every Joe.

As 1986 wore on, my parents decided we were going to move from New York to Miami, Florida, to be closer to family. I was both excited and sad. I liked Florida. Everytime we went on vacation, we'd go to Disney World, go to the beach and have fun. What wasn't there to like about Florida? But at the same time I was sad because it did mean leaving behind all my friends, and my school.

We packed up the house into a moving van and left Queens for good.

In the U-Haul, I had made sure to pack all my GI Joes into my backpack so that I could play with them on way down to Florida. In fact, moments before getting into the truck, I had been playing with them in the hallway when my mom gave me the signal that it was time to go. I quickly packed them into my backpack and  we were off.

When we arrived at South of the Border, we dismounted as my dad wanted to take pictures, and get something to eat. I brought my Joes down with me. As my dad ran around posing for goofy pictures with my mother, I sat at a bench and looked into my backpack, looking for my favorite of all the Joes, Sgt Slaughter.

He wasn't there.

I looked again.

Still no Sarge.

It was then that it hit me... Sarge was doing recon ontop of the heater in the hallway at the old house in Queens, while me and the rest of the Joes were on the steps. I never packed him up! He was still there.

I ran and told my mother, and all she said was, "I'll buy you another one when we get to Miami Beach."

So I bided my time until we reached my grandparent's condo on Miami Beach. It was late at night. No shopping until morning.

Morning came, and everyone was still tired from the trip, but I was insistent. Lincoln Road Mall had a Woolsworth, and I knew it, and I kept reminding my mom about it. When she finally relented and took me later on in the day, I came to discover that they did not have the Sarge in stock. I was heartbroken, but I was promised that the next time we saw him, I would get him.

I never saw him on a store shelf again.

Interlude: My Mom

I find that most of my childhood memories revolve around not only my toys, which I spent a great deal of time with, but they revolve around my mom... Which oddly enough, I also spent a great deal of time with.

My mom always had time for me growing up. If I needed help on my multiplication tables, or in the dreaded cursive and penmanship assignments, she was there to help. And when I say she was there to help, I mean she would drop what she was doing to help me, no matter how long it took.

She would bring me with her on errands, and it really wasn't that hard to behave in public for her. She always asked me nicely before leaving the house. I was not threatened, so I never truly feared her. I knew she could get angry, but why risk it when it was so easy to just be quiet and be good? I guess, I saw it as my responsibility, even as a young child, to not embarrass my mom in public. I didn't want to disappoint her. I feared that more than any anger driven punishment.

Since my mother did the shopping for the household with me in tow, my mom was also the one that would buy me my toys. She had a great memory for what she bought me too. I could forget about trading toys with other kids, my mom was a hawk!

As the years went on, and I got older, I started collecting toys. I don't think my mom understood it, but she would defend my collection to any nosey adult that dared stick their head in my room.

Then one day, my mom was cleaning a closet and found my Smurfs. We started talking about my first Smurf, the baker, and it ended in her confession... She always meant to buy me a Smurf house, but it was very costly, so she saved up, but by the time she had enough and went to buy it, the store had sold the only one they had.

I went straight to my computer, jumped online and found one. I bought it without telling her. When the box arrived, I handed to her and told her it was a surprise. She started to cry when she saw it. We opened it up and put a couple of Smurfs in and had a good chuckle.

That Smurf house led to a full village that we put together, the both of us. It was our thing.

When my mom passed away, I could barely look at Smurf, much less bring myself to buy one. I couldn't do it. My heart was completely broken, and the passion was gone. It wasn't fun. It was painful. To whom would I show the latest addition to the village? Who would help me decide where he went?

It took going to a toy show, and walking by a dealer who sold nothing BUT Smurfs to get me to even look at another little blue heartbreaker. I looked. Then I walked away.

As I walked up and down each aisle, looking from booth to booth, and all I could do was think about how my mom would have reacted to seeing so many Smurfs in one place, and instead of fighting back the tears I found myself smiling a little.

Before leaving the show I went back to that dealer and bought a Smurf in a cage. It was one we talked about getting, however we ran out of time. When I got home I dusted off the village and found his place.

February 8th 2011 marks ten years since my mom passed. (That's the hardest sentence I've ever had to write down...)

She taught me everything I know about love, kindness, understanding, speaking up for yourself, cursing, flipping off bad drivers that tailgate you, family, and of course, taking care of your toys.

I love you, mommy. Thank you.

CHiPs motorcyle

When I started kindergarten, my lack of understanding the English language, and my status of only child made my socializing with the other children difficult. It did not help that I was a painfully shy child who was taught early on that the squeaky wheel did not in fact get the proverbial grease, but instead got the very real hand across the face. Lesson taught: keep quiet.

While that made me a teacher's dream, it also made me a teacher's nightmare. If I did not understand, instead of asking for help, I just smiled, kept quiet and faked it until I could figure it out alone. This, of course, lead to many misunderstandings of the sitcom variety that I may touch upon later. Just know that I quickly learned that a bum was not an explosive devise, and that "Dick" is not short for Dick Van Dyke.

Because we were young children and required supervision, I suppose, instead of a traditional recess with the older kids of the school, we were kept inside and had "Play Time." We had a variety of games, toys and other things to amuse ourselves. The most popular toys were the blocks and the miniature play kitchen set up. The teacher would assign us to either the block corner, or the doll corner. We would raise our hands and hope to get picked, and hope we got to where we wanted to go.

I usually went back to my desk and drew in crayon.

One day the teacher started to notice that no girl wanted to play with blocks and no boy wanted to play house. So instead of picking those with raised hands, she just randomly assigned kids. I ended up in the block corner. That's where I met Max.

Max was an Argentinian boy, who also struggled with English. We found a kinship in that. The more we spoke the more things in common we had. Turned out he lived about two blocks from my house.

I told my mother about him on the way out of class and she went up to his mother and introduced us. I guess my mom and his mom hit it off immediately, as we started hanging out on swing set after school quite a bit.

In class, Max and I became best friends. We always volunteered to play in the block corner. If one of us was chosen and the other was not, the chosen one would give up their spot to some other kid and we'd both go draw.

We started to notice that the teacher started making an effort to separate us. Max came up with an idea. He'd sneak in a toy from home and we'd play with that at our desks.

The first toy he ever brought in for us to play with was the CHiPs Motorcycle Launcher. Wed make ramps with stolen blocks from the block corner, we'd make obstacles with those fat crayons the school provided, we'd draw people and cut them out and make standees so the motorcycle could run them down, but most of all we'd found our own way to have fun.

Of course our teacher put the kibosh on it once she caught onto our setup. She told our mommies on us. Our mommies had our backs, but told us not to make waves in class and to mind our teacher. So we did... In OUR way.

We pretended we were no longer friends when the teacher was watching and we went back to our withdrawn ways. Finally noticing we were no longer participating and sad, the teacher relented.

We celebrated by playing with Max's CHiPs Motorcycle Launcher once again.

I don't know whatever became of Mrs. Micelli, our kindergarten teacher, or that CHiPs toy, but I do know that Max and I are still friends.

28 years and counting.

John Travolta

To say that many of my tastes were influenced by the tastes of my parents is to severely understate the obvious.

I was a child raised by somewhat trendy parents. You should see photos of my father's dashiki, my Mom's blonde Afro, and the beaded braids I was forced to endure. Bell bottomed pants, Sergio Valente's, newsprint outfits, jelly shoes, if it was a fad in NY, I endured it.

These trends were not limited to fashion. It bled right into musical tastes, and Television programming. Seeing as though we had one television until I turned 6 only helped further my Patty Hearst-like brainwashing.

If my mother wanted to watch it, I *had* to watch it as well. Since my father came home from his second job long after I went to sleep, his influence was focused to my love of the New York Yankees, and Hulk Hogan on Sundays.

One of the many shows my mother would watch was Welcome Back Kotter, starring the young John Travolta. My mom loved John Travolta. It's no surprise that on a shopping trip to purchase a Barbie-like doll (most probably a knock off blow mold doll), my mother became distracted by the new John Travolta celebrity doll display.

I remember seeing the most awesome Adventure Team Muscle body GI Joes, and really wanting them. The packaging was bright, and since they were sold in shorts, you could see their superheroic physique. Bulletman appealed to me. John Travolta appealed to my mom.

My mom convinced me I would much rather prefer the John Travolta doll. He was on TV, movies, etc. So I walked out the door with John Travolta. But my mom DID surrender on one point. I wanted an army guy, so she agreed I could get John an army outfit, complete with jungle camo, boots and rifle.

When I got home I was actually excited to play with my new stuff. I opened the box and pulled John free, ripped open the army gear, and got ready for adventure!

The adventure was short-lived. Getting John out of his light blue shirt and denim combo turned out to be quite the task for a 4 year old. His pants and shirt were actually a onesy, and the belt was flimsy. My mom helped after noticing me struggle and offered to put his army suit on for me.

That was a different struggle. Travolta was larger that your average Joe. My mom did manage to get the shirt and pants on, but it looked like he was wearing camo Capri pants that left nothing to the imagination, and his shirt would not close. His rifle looked like a BB gun, and his boots would not fit. I was pretty disappointed in the whole deal.

Finally I asked my mom to put his regular clothes on. I guess his only adventures would occur on the dance floor... solo, since I never did get a Barbie or Barbie like doll on that shopping trip.

I did finally get a Barbie doll, two years later. She was actually a Skipper doll, which was way too short for John. But that's a story for another day.

Hulk Skates

I must have been somewhere between the ages of 3 and 4 the first time went to the Aqueduct Racetrack. It wasn't too far from the apartment building we were living in at that time, and the Aqueduct was host to a large flea market on the weekends. (Oddly enough, I've just recently found out that the flea market would be closing for good soon.)

The Aqueduct was an amazing world of colorful sights and smells for a child. Toys of every kind seemed to litter the area. Salesfolks would stand in front if their booths demonstrating the latest Chinese tin wind up cars, symbol playing monkeys, and crawling babies. Others would play with paddle ball toys, or the amazing click clacks (AKA clackers, ker-bangers, popper knockers, and a variety of other names).

I wanted an orange pair of click clacks so bad, but my mom said I was too young. It's a shame, too. The sales guy had my dad on the verge of buying me one, so he could play with it too.

But I digress.

We were there to buy clothes, material for my mother to sew, a pair of Chinese cloth shoes my dad loved, and some rusty screws. I'm not too sure about the rusty screws. I just remember my mom saying, "That's right, we came here to buy rusty screws," every time my dad found someone selling dirty used tools. In retrospect, I assume she meant it sarcastically.

I know that I spent quite some time watching my dad paw greasy used tools, as that seemed less boring than watching my mom at the linen and material booth. The upside is that my dad was equally captivated by the cheap import toy booths, so we spent an equal amount of time watching demonstrations of remote controlled toys as we did staring at crap tool booths.

With my mother distracted buying things that were needed, my father and I ran around eating elephant ears, hotdogs, and playing with toys.

When my mom caught up to us I was wearing a headband with two springy antennae topped with glittery red balls. My dad proudly exclaimed that they looked like El Chapulin Colorado's antennae. My mom just laughed.

On the way out we passed a table selling roller-skates. My dad insisted I needed some. My mother was unconvinced, as they were costly and I would ultimately outgrow them in a few months.

In response, the seller shows my mom his line of expandable plastic figural skates. They were cheap plastic skates with plastic wheels that a kid would slip on over their shoes, and the size was adjustable. The tips of the skates featured the one thing no child could ignore: a superhero's face!

He had Wonder Woman, which I was excited about, but my mom, being a mom, required me to try them on. For some reason, perhaps the design of the figural aspect of the head, they did not fit properly and they hurt. So Wonder Woman was a no go.

I saw Batman and I knew I was to have him, even if he didn't fit, or hurt my foot through my sneakers, I was going to smile and lie through my teeth. But first I had to try on the Hulk skates. They fit like a glove, and before I could speak up, my mom had already brokered the deal. Sure, I could have interrupted... if I want to have a taste of the back of her hand. Children were never to interrupt adults in conversation, nor were they to speak unless spoken to.

So I went home with a pair of Hulk skates.

That afternoon, I went outside to try them out. My mom strapped them to my feet and off I went... About an inch. Those plastic wheels really had no tread, and on the rough sidewalk, it was worse.

Our apartment was carpeted, so no use there. The kitchen had linoleum, but was the size of a closet.

I had a pair of useless Hulk skates, but what I found out was I had a great pair a of Hulk race cars that my knockoff Playmobil guys could ride around in.

I never did wear those stupid antennae again. And I still want a pair of orange click clacks.

Found Spidey

As I have mentioned before, I was generally my mother's sidekick until I began school. My mom was never one to shirk responsibilities, and felt that leaving me to be watched by another adult in her stead was indeed avoiding the role that she took on when she became a mother.

That meant if my mom had errands to run, it was adventure time for me. Each new place to a child under the age of 5 can be a world of exciting and often scary situations. Since I knew better than to run amok in public, most of my adventures were silent imaginary scenarios. I had experience playing by myself at that point, so all was well.

On one such adventure I found myself on line at a very busy bank. My mother noticing how long the wait was said I could go sit quietly in the nice comfy leather seats reserved for those waiting to be seen by a loan officer. She did give me the caveat, if she looked in the direction and did not see me, all bets were off. I would have to go and stand in line with her and have to answer for disobeying. Believe me, that was not something I ever wanted to answer!

So I ventured forth to my new comfy local for the time being. It was an old fashioned leather armchair, the kind with the brass buttons that look like rivets. I always loved those chairs, as they instantly became spaceships, and the rivets became control and flight buttons.

After a few minutes of my long term space flight where I would be confined in my cockpit, I noticed something on the floor, behind the row of chairs across the ornate oriental rug that separated my ship from the others. It was red and blue, and could barely be seen as a chunky wooden leg from the armchair was blocking most of it from my view. What was it?!

This began a mind crushing period of time. I would look over across the back to the teller line and check to make sure my mom was not watching. I would then fidget and try to obtain a better view of this mysterious red and blue object until I would notice my Mom's gaze starting to turn in my direction. Rinse and repeat.

At one point during this struggle with my armchair, I almost fell off. But it was at that very point that I received visual confirmation of what my quarry was... It was Spider-man. It was a beautiful 8 inch Mego Spider-man that some other child must have dropped. I looked around, but other than an older gentleman sitting a few chairs away from me, who must have thought I was learning disabled or at the very least, plain stupid, there was no one else around in that waiting area.

I looked towards the teller line and all I saw were grumpy adults who were not happy to be standing in that never-ending line for ONE teller. From what I could tell, there were no other children in the bank. Spidey was going to be mine! That is, if I could figure out a way to get out of my chair, crawl under a different chair, grab him, and get back into my chair before my mom could notice. Then I would have to explain where he came from! What would I say? I found him?

It was the truth, but would my mom let me keep him? What if she made me give him to the bank owner? Then he would have a Spidey to play with.

As I sat there going through the scenarios, my mom tapped me on my shoulders. I hadn't noticed she had moved up in line, much less that she had been at the teller window when I last cased out the bank for other kids. With a sigh, I pointed to where the Spider-man was and whispered to my mom that it looked like someone dropped a toy.

She walked over, reached behind the chair and smiled at the old man and said straight faced, "My daughter dropped her doll." She handed the Spidey to me and said we'd talk outside.

When we stepped out to the cold crisp New York air, she turned to me and said, "Oh well, finders keepers!"

Sometimes I wonder about the poor kid who lost that Spider-man, and then I remember my mom. Finders keepers, indeed.  

Interlude: Just as good

Before I was legitimately old enough to understand the true economic state of my family, I knew we were in no way rich.

I knew by comparing the toys I did have to those of a rude little kid about three houses down. His name was Charlie, and he had every toy you could think of. He would come outside with his toys and play in his fenced in front yard, while the rest of the children on our street rode by on our hand-me-down bikes like gawking construction workers admiring a lady with too short a skirt.

Now, Charlie would on occasion choose one of the many admirers and invite them through the gate to partake of his many wares. The rest were "allowed" to watch them play.

I was never chosen, because I had committed the unforgivable sin of being born a girl.

Charlie did serve somewhat of purpose in my life, though. He served as toy catalog. If he had it, it was available at stores. I just could not for the life of me figure out WHAT store.

Whenever my mother would go shopping, she always took me along. It helped that I was rather well behaved. My mother was a bargain shopper, so generally when shopping we would stop at multiple shops. Among them: Alexanders, Odd Lots, ABC (in Cityline), Woolsworth, and several Oriental market type stores that carried stereotypical Chinatown like wares.

Although I was usually allowed to wander in the toy sections, the toys I found were usually either a few years old (and heavily clearanced) or they kind of looked like the toys I was looking for, or were in foreign packaging (read: knock-offs.)

On the few rare occasions I would find something I wanted, like say Voltron, my mom, smooth salesman that she was, would point out that the Go Lion Force Robot thing that was not diecast, but most probably blow molded was "just-as-good."

Although I never quite fell for this trick, I got the message loud and clear, "We can't afford it, get the knock-off or go home without a toy."

In my imagination, whichever knock-off I happen to be playing with, was of course the real thing. We all had grand adventures, Plastic Lion Robot, Googly-eyed Godzillaish Lizard, Bo and Luke Duke (on clearance from TruValue), their ride, a broken Bespin cloud car I found in the neighbor's trash one day (which I still own), Remco Warlord (instead of He-Man), Decker, and a Rambo lookalike from Remco's GI Joeish line.

Of course all the fun would come to a screeching halt, the day Charlie rode his brand new BMX by my house and loudly made fun of my cheap toys.

I started playing in my backyard more often after that.

Charlie was a jerk.

Mego Batgirl

[Preface: In previous posts I have alluded to an incident involving a set of Magnetic Batman and Robin figures. At times I come across as bitter, and in truth, I am to a certain extent. This incident is a painful childhood memory, and to this day I still carry some of the hurt. I don't speak of it often, and I have been putting this one story off for a while to the point that I have updated less often than I would like to. Today, I have decided it's now time to let go.]

It was the Christmas season of 1980. Ronald Reagan had just been elected president of the United States, and my father was overjoyed. In January he would take office, and President Carter and the lean times of the 1970's would finally be over. I would turn 5 that first week of January, and we would celebrate it Uruguay, with our extended family, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that we were only able to see every 2 to 3 years.

As the 1980's had promised, this new decade was already looking good for my family. My parents had saved up and were now home owners of a 2 family walk-up in Ozone Park, Queens. This Christmas was to be celebrated like no other. As such, the first week of December included a shopping trip to Alexanders to purchase a full sized tree, decorations, more lights than should be allowed, and a few odds and ends for family.

Normally shopping trips involved my mother and I on a bus or the subway, as we were a 1 car family, with that 1 car being my father's mode of transportation for work. This Christmas, though was special. My father wanted to come along, as he felt that it was his responsibility to make the outside of the house glow like the sun. If it involved ladders, nails and hammers... it was man's work. We piled into our 1972 mustard yellow Ford Maverick (with the brown vinyl roof) and went off for a Saturday of shopping.

I don't recall much from that shopping trip, other than it was cold outside, hot inside, and boring. Relief came over me as we approached the checkout lanes. That meant it was time to go home.

That's when I saw it.

The one image that would burn into my mind for decades to come. I still dream of it.

Over each checkout lane hung white chains from the ceiling. Usually they attached teddy bears, dolls, balloons, anything that would bring a young child to a high pitched scream, and thereby force the parent to buy it to shut them up.

But I did not see teddy bears or dolls. I saw aisle after aisle, checkout lane after checkout lane, from ceiling to right above the counter... Mego magnetic Batmans and Robins. They had been taken out of the boxes and were hanging from their hands and feet. Some were posed as though they were climbing. Others held hands and made a Batman/Robin chain from over one counter to the next. It was beautiful.

And I wanted them so badly I could taste it. And it would indeed taste good. Like candy flavored candy topped with candy and sprinkled with even more candy.

I went to my father, the weak link in the "asking for stuff" chain of command. I asked him, "If I'm really good, do you think Santa will bring me a Batman and Robin like those?" as I pointed above our heads. It was too close to Christmas to even consider asking for anything outright. I was never a stupid child. I was just a little naive.

My father's response was a parental cliche', "You'll have to remember to ask Santa."

Fine. Now I just needed to find Santa, or one of his many emissaries.
[note: my parents once explained to me that Santa is a rather busy man, and as such he cannot be everywhere. To that end he employs emissaries around the world to stand at street corners and at shopping centers to "take orders" from the children of the world, and that these emissaries reported to the big man himself daily. I was a rather inquisitive child, and my parents were rather creative in answering my logistical questions with answers that had a little real world logic for backing.]

I wrote a letter to Santa with the help of my mother. I placed the letter in a mailbox and went on to dream of Christmas morning.

Christmas came and went. No Batman or Robin.

Evidently, the man can fly around the world in the span of one night delivering toys to every boy and girl, but he cannot read Spanish.

Immediately after Christmas, my mother needed to make another trip to Alexander's to buy some odds and ends for our month long trip to South America, and exchange some clothes which were too small for me already. Since my birthday was coming up soon, my mom said I could pick out something as a gift. I knew exactly what I wanted and made a beeline to it.

When I arrived... all those wonderful chains above the checkout lanes were bare. I asked my mother if she remembered the toys that were there a month previously, and she did not.

As I went to the toy section, I remember walking by a dump full of boxes. I know now that it was full of Mego 8 inch Batgirls, Catwomans, and Supergirls. What I knew then was, it was NOT the Batmans or Robins I wanted, so I didn't really care.

Disappointed, I grabbed an 8 Inch Mego Batgirl.

I have never hated a toy so much in my whole life. It really wasn't her fault though. She was just a victim of circumstance.  Just was a substitute for what I really wanted, and never received. I just couldn't look at her and NOT see that image of Magnetic Batmans and Robins.

And I could never look at Santa the same either.