M.U.S.C.L.E. Hustle

As far back as I can remember, I have always been a Wrestling fan. I blame my father for this, as I blame him for my life long love of the Yankees.

Many a summer night was spent watching WWF's Spanish broadcast on channel 41 along side my dad. Sometimes we'd get into mock wrestling matches which my mom would referee in, or interfere with. Which, always depended on with dinner was ready or not.

It was no surprise to either of my parents when I started requesting all manner of wrestling toys. I wanted the LJN giant rubber wrestlers like the boy next door, but as always, finances dictated I got an armful of poorly articulated He-Man looking, knock off wrestlers that kinda, sorta looked like Hulk Hogan if you squinted long enough. 

I didn't mind. I was used to accepting "good enough."

That changed when Mattel released a commercial featuring Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere. M.U.S.C.L.E as they were commonly called were tiny pink hard rubber figures. They came in 4 packs, 10 packs, and 28 packs. Not much was known about them other than they were weird looking and there was a wrestling ring accessory, so they were wrestlers.

It felt like overnight, every boy in my class has a handful of these things in their pockets. Since I never quite click with the girls, I was essentially "one of the guys." This meant I had to get some to join in the playground reindeer games.

I showed my mom a 4 pack at Woolsworth the very next time we went shopping. I explained they were wrestlers and that everyone had them. My mom took one look at the package and asked if I wanted some. I said yes.

My looked at the price of the package said no. I was confused. What a cruel thing to pull on your own child! Practically wave a toy in their face and then yank it away!\

My outrage lasted a full New York minute until I heard my mom say it was a better value to buy the 10 pack. 

Score!

I got home with a little plastic trashcan full of wrestling goodness. I open it up and the first thing I find is a hand. An ugly bumpy hand. Huh. 

I pull a few more out, and one looked like an oil drum with arms and legs, and there was one that looked like that Apple II we just got in our classroom that even our teacher was afraid to touch.

What the hell?

How are these guys wrestlers?

A few of them resembled humans, and those passed as wrestlers in my world so it wasn't a complete bust. I ended up trading the weirder figures to some of the guys in class, in exchange for their more human looking guys.

In the end I ended up getting those weird guys back, as my mom would buy me a couple more 10 packs before the novelty wore off (long before the mixed color figures came out) and I and every other child moved on to the next big thing.

Late into my teens I would still find loose M.U.S.C.L.E. guys in random places in my room, in a jewelry box, under the bed, in an old coat pocket. Every time that would happen, I'd get a stupid look on my face and just smile for hours.

I only kept one of my original guys, MY world champion, "Macho Kid" (Terry man to those Kinnikuman fans out there) and he still makes me smile.

Dazzle Dolls

I received my first library card during a kindergarten field trip that my mother served as a chaperone on. Until then, my mom was unaware of the magical place that let you borrow books, for free.

My mom was always a voracious reader, and each trip to Jamaica to pick up my dad's foreign newspaper included a stop at a used bookstore where she would trade in her old paperbacks for ones she hadn't read. Since her command of English was limited to speaking enough to get by, and inventive cussing, her choices for books were also limited. She was fortunate to locate this store that sold books in Spanish, however being in Jamaica and too far to obviously walk, her reading was limited as well.

This changed with the discovery of the library and my card which would allow her to check out books as much and as often as she wanted. It also got me hooked on reading.

The summer of 1982 was spent in the library. Every Wednesday or Thursday we'd wake up early, get my sister into the stroller and walk the several blocks and spends hours reading, and enjoying the air conditioning. 

Usually on the way home, before my sister could get too fussy, my mom would take advantage of excursion into the heat and we'd stop at the Odd Lots store for whatever the house needed at the time. If I played my cards right, I could usually talk my mom into White Castle across the street.

On one such trip, I was in charge of carrying the library books in a lovely cloth tote bag we'd received for being "Star Readers" that summer. I remember bouncing the bag back and forth as it hung on my little shoulder, pretending to be an explorer carrying my treasure as we walked the aisles at the Odd Lots. I told my mom I'd be in the toy aisle and was given my leave.

I looked at the same toys I had seen the previous week, peg by peg. Nothing new; nothing exciting. I had a bag of Encyclopedia Brown books, and this trip was delaying my mystery hunting. 

And then I saw them.

They looked like Barbie dolls. 

Some were blonde. Some brunette. 

Each wore a gown, or some other fancy outfit. One looked like Dolly Parton to me.

They were beautiful... But what really caught my eye was their size. They were tiny.

They were Star Wars tiny.

They were little action figure sized Barbie dolls!  

My bag of mystery books forgotten, all I could see were tiny dolls. I was dazzled by Mattel's Dazzle Dolls.

My mom found me staring open mouthed at the display. I didn't say a word. She took one look at me, and one look at the dolls and said, "I have enough to get you a couple but we'll have to skip White Castle."

White Castle? How can you think of White Castle at a time like this?! These are tiny Barbie dolls!

That's what I thought.

What I said was, "It's ok. I just want a cheese sandwich for lunch."

I left with two Dazzle Dolls. One in a dress and one in a western pantsuit.

The next week, it happened again.

And then the following week as well.

By the start of the school year I had each one pictured on the back of the package and one of the boyfriends.

I also read through all the children's book section and started in on the adult fiction section at the library before first grade.